The Mystery of the debacle plunged further into the murky depths when there was a call from an unknown number. Probably more of the usual spam it was ignored, but they left a voice message.
The message was retrieved with the anticipation of the sound of someone hanging up or the discordant ching chong of a marketeer in another language I cannot name because that would be racist in these days of rampant anti-antisemitism that has raised the price of a tank of petrol?
No. It was someone, as a person of unspecified gender, calling itself Sophie. They claimed to be representing Australia Post and requested a callback. There was no reason provided why they had an expectation that they would not be perceived as the spurious spam of an AI sucking the phone line for more data in its quest for more data. There was no reference to the case reference number. There was no seeking of information like “How many nuts and bolts in the Sydney harbour bridge?”. Just the intense desire for connection.
A quick check, confirmed the last call from Australia Post had displayed as Australia Post. Further investigation determined Sophie was not amongst the seven names Australia Post had already attributed to the case. Particularly, Sophie was not the Manager First Response who had been the sole correspondent in recent weeks.
A wicked thought popped up unannounced; maybe they should change their title to “Last/Latest/No Response” Manager?
A missive was sent to confirm the authenticity of the caller whilst over a cup of tea I mulled over the idea of calling the number and saying nothing. Perhaps whoever answered would reciprocate with silence and I would be forced into some heavy breathing to elicit a response? Or my call would go to voice mail and I would have another game of anonymous tag to while away my idle hours trying to get a simple mail service operational.
Almost immediately came an explanation from the Contact Centre that had been avoiding contact for over a week:
Was this hope of clarification an explanation?
The author didn’t make the excuse that the prior email had been ignored because of difficulties contacting the lazy Launceston Delivery Centre. Or why suddenly Launceston had phoned to arrange a meeting when they could have done this two weeks ago. Two weeks! Maybe the problematic communication between the Contact Centre and Launceston was impeded by snail mail, and because it was Australia Post overdue items could not be investigated until after two weeks?
Whatever. In the unanswered followup I had asked about whether there had been a decision about the murky concept of community type meeting. With no notification from Australia Post that decision is still being kept a secret secure from the potential participants, despite the impending demolition of the posting boxes being almost a week away.
The glimmering of progress in the response was the announcement that Thursday afternoon was available as an option. Although the innuendo of “to discuss the letterbox placements” raised a concern that a mobile letterbox might be required so that it could move between placements in accordance with the evolving decisions of the postal service. Moving to different locations in order to receive different types of mail or perhaps simply to constantly evade the constant vandalism and theft. Constantly.
The opportunity to bypass a one-way telephone discussion from Launceston by an Eric Cartman demanding respect for their authority could not be ignored. Thursday afternoon was immediately accepted with request for details of whom and when. That information would be helpful to relay to any other affected residents on the Road.
Late in the morning there was another call from Sophie announcing it was afternoon. For clarity, this time the name of the caller was muffled. I fear then extent of Vandal conquests have extended to unspeakable acts at the Launceston delivery centre and poor Sophie was gagged and being forced into unspeakable acts, like saying her name indistinctly. It was another reason to not risk being berated over the phone.
Obviously my email pointing out the flaws in their previous call had had no effect in eliciting a revelation of the purpose of the proposed conversation in the message they left. Perhaps the Contact Centre had not relayed the flaws in etiquette to Launceston, or the undisclosed purpose was nothing to do with the meeting?
So I replied by text asking for the meeting details. The response was another vm that ignored the text request and requested a call back to discuss “the Branxholm Issue”. I was once again confused as to who the requester was. Australia Post had confirmed the previous call was from Sophie, but this call was from Tracey. Had Tracy rescued Sophie or impersonated her? Was Tracie a Vandal intent on disrupting the meeting? What could I do to stop the gagging?
However I am distracted from phantasies of the reward for rescuing a damsel in distress when I hear that after erecting a mailbox as instructed, a Branxholm resident has been asked to move their letterbox to the end of Cox’s Lane. The courier was too scared to deliver to the property, because they might be ambushed by Vandals and thieves, and so another location for clusterboxes was announced to protect the resident from the convenience of the new service to their property boundary.
No wonder whomever from Launceston is reticent to confirm the meeting time. Civilisation is under siege with the new Branxholm delivery service on the brink of collapse. Perhaps Australia Post should retreat to the ramparts of the existing postal boxes to protect the integrity of deliveries from the ravages of anarchic disinformation?
There seems to be no choice for the Cottagers but to wait cowering behind our flimsy curtains of whimsy. On Thursday we will watch to see if our letterbox is attended by some representative of Australia Post. Or the letterbox is attacked by Vandals extending their dominion of terror. Or stands alone, forlornly neglected in its quest to receive the mail that is the right of every citizen of Australia despite the malleable boundaries of the Branxholm delivery service.
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