In a deft move to demonstrate their complete unwavering devotion to serving the community Australia Post notified all the unaffected customers in the town of Branxholm of their intention to make changes to a service that does not affect them.
The postal boxes on Stoke Street will be removed to prevent vandalism.
We are assured that this curious innovation will protect the asset by making it non-functional, because the idea has been spawned from the creative marketing geniuses who convinced Netanyahu that killing Palestinian children saves them from being murdered by Hamas. In this case any evil Vandal lurking in the precincts of Branxholm will be convinced that the post boxes no longer exist and transfer their attentions to other community assets.
There is a fly in this therapeutic ointment. The balm is a solution for a problem that doesn’t exist. No evidence of any vandalism of these innocent post boxes has been observed or reported, but the solution proposed for the victims of Australia Post’s decision is that their victims erect their own post boxes ‘down the road’.
In the case of the Gardener’s Cottage, this is not at the property that Australia does not service. Australia Post maintains it’s right to not deliver to that address (even parcels whilst some other couriers provide that service). Instead Australia Post proposes that it might possibly deliver to the corner of Stoke Street and Red Hill Road; if a letterbox is erected for that purpose that meets their requirements that have yet to be specified to the residents outside of what Australia Post deems worthy of home delivery.
The current postal boxes are opposite the Branxholm Hotel and near Tin Timbers Cafe where the existence of these invisible malcontent Vandals are impeded by the prying eyes of the public. How moving letter delivery to a more remote windswept corner out of the public gaze will prevent the epidemic of rampant destruction by Vandals is unclear.
Australia Post is circumspect in their silence on the matter of delivery. It is not known whether their current lottery of parcel delivery will be maintained if the victim erects a postal box of sufficient size to accommodate parcels. Or if this bold initiative intended to remove the charade of ‘the keys for the parcel boxes have been mislaid’ as the premium excuse to subjugate the victims to picking up from the Derby Post Office since Ringarooma Post Office was closed?
Did those pesky Vandals steal the keys and deface them?
If Australia Post is truly concerned about the assaults of Vandals upon their prized asset; they could install a security camera to confirm that the alleged assault on the unmarked metal escutcheon is non-existent. There is no reason to inconvenience the possessors of a postal box more.
Every possessor of a key to a secure post box is confused about what this strange mode of communication portends. No possessor of a post box has been notified by Australia Post. As the master of delivering written communications for the nation, Australia Post has relied on gossip. They wrote to people who don’t have post boxes and as they live in town within the home delivery area will never need them. Or will they? Perhaps suspending all postal delivery in Branxholm is a future phase of the chaos of Australia Post’s commitment to reduce deliveries to all Australia?
This initiative has echoes emanating from the dark tunnel of the conspiracy of the Australian government to ensure that all citizens are not informed in a timely manner by outsourcing all government responsibilities to boost the profits of the business lobby. Perhaps the sale of the desecrated post boxes will compensate for the loss of a public asset, and a new productive efficiency will provide an internet app that offers to exchange all of your privacy for the promise of something that might possibly do something like delivering a letter (if you are not suspended for the detection of unspecified suspicious activity).
In fact that seems to be the direction of Australia Post. We no longer have letters delivered to our door within two days, but we have online tracking and a barrage of e-mail notifications to let us know how much slower delivery is to somewhere unspecified. In Australia Post tracking the letter box, parcel box and post office meld into a ‘successful delivery’. Note this delivery is not a receipt even if one of those Vandals has destroyed the existence of the delivered item. If that is so; an investigation by Australia Post will only occur two weeks after being requested, because ‘things usually turn up’. Pity you if it is an emergency and an Express Delivery has been unaccountably sitting at Scottsdale for two days, as was recently experienced at the Gardener’s Cottage.
Perhaps the Vandals have intercepted all of those specially tailored notifications to the rural residents who live outside of Branxholm and are dependent upon the post boxes, and this is proof of the vandalism that Australia Post is trying to circumvent. Not of the incompetence of an Australia Post presided over by the overpaid and underqualified, or that Australia Post didn’t have enough notification letters and wisely prioritised posting them to persons unaffected by their decision to prevent them requesting the service.
One day, as part of Australia Post’s commitment to community we might know what is going on, but in the meantime the rumours abound of the potential closure of the Derby Post Office, because no-one is interested in the investment opportunity. Given the above, we wonder why.
Any post office would be an investment if Australia Post was truly committed to it being a community centre. Not just post and stamps, but banking, bill payment etc. All the services that are disappearing under the jackboot of relentless capitalist efficiency closing rural businesses.
A post office doesn’t even require front line staff. It can provide local jobs as we all become service technicians, security guards and suppliers to the machines; so that they can be more efficient at providing more leisure time!
An automated Postal kiosk could be implemented in Branxholm with not just secure post boxes, but vending machines for postal paraphernalia, a cash machine, internet access to do banking, more vending machines for feathered quills and ink, hot and cold drinks and a place to sit and chat. A true community hub could be supported, rather than simply exiting Branxholm under the cover of the delusional rants of politician’s promises of a better life.
The benefit of the automated digital age should be easier to provide rather than the other alternative that has been suggested for the rural victims of Australia Post’s edict: Get a post box in Scottsdale and waste time and money driving there. The cynics believe this is inevitable. All the local post offices will be consolidated by the god of relentless efficiency (who is rumoured to have shares in the automotive and oil industries). However they are not cynical enough. Why not close the Scottsdale Post Office as well to prevent the inevitable assault of the Vandals?
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